


A Redshirt, a Clone Trooper, and a Russian Stargate Team Walk into a Bar

by ziazippy5379



Category: Star Trek, Star Wars - All Media Types, Stargate - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Crossover, Gen, I wrote it for a joke, all dialouge, and that is it, this is just plain silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-18 11:49:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28866540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ziazippy5379/pseuds/ziazippy5379
Summary: A witness's account of what happened after some redshirts, clone troopers, and a stargate team went into a bar.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11





	A Redshirt, a Clone Trooper, and a Russian Stargate Team Walk into a Bar

**Author's Note:**

> This is really just some nonsense I wrote to get the joke out of my head. That's it.
> 
> And thanks to discord (namely Yomz) for helping me with the Stargate stuff since I really don't know much at all!

INVESTIGATOR: So you saw what happened?

WITNESS: Well some of it. I was sitting on that bench over on the other side of the street. You see it was my lunch break and I like to spend it outside.

INVESTIGATOR: What did you see happen then?

WITNESS: Okay, so first there was this group of humans. And they were wearing that stuff you see their military wear in like media or something.

INVESTIGATOR: Tac-gear?

WITNESS: Yeah that stuff.

INVESTIGATOR: Any identifying marks on them?

WITNESS: Yeah, there was this patch that had like two lines pointing up, like a triangle without a bottom and a circle above it.

INVESTIGATOR: Ah a Stargate team. Could you tell where on Earth they were from?

WITNESS: Not America for sure. Maybe they were from that one that was the villians in a lot of Earth media?

INVESTIGATOR: Russians?

WITNESS: Yeah I think so!

INVESTIGATOR: And what did they do?

WITNESS: Well they were in a hurry or something because they were moving fast and they went into the bar.

INVESTIGATOR: What happened next?

WITNESS: Well a few minutes later there was another group, mostly humans but one was something else, came from one end of the street. And they all had these matching outfits. Red shirts with gold on the sleeves and black pants. I think they were from that Starfleet thing. And from the other end a bunch of humanoids in white armor came.

INVESTIGATOR: Ah some redshirts and some clone troopers most likely. I’m starting to guess why this went so badly.

WITNESS: What?

INVESTIGATOR: Just continue with what you saw.

WITNESS: Okay? So they were coming from opposite ends of the street and they were all running and both decide to go into the same bar as the first group.

INVESTIGATOR: And then the trouble started?

WITNESS: No, there were more.

INVESTIGATOR: Go on.

WITNESS: So, I think these other groups were chasing the first three. One of them was like a bunch of robots but like not very good ones. The next looked a lot like humans but in this old style armor and these markings on their head. The last group were also humanoid but they had more modern armor and like ridges on their foreheads.

INVESTIGATOR: That sounds about right. What happened next?

WITNESS: Well, all of those groups went hurrying into the bar as well. How they knew to do that I don’t know. And then the trouble started.

INVESTIGATOR: And what do you mean by trouble?

WITNESS: I’m not really sure. There sure was a lot of screaming and weapons sounds. But then members of the first three groups started coming out. But not like in their own groups. Just one or two at a time. And only them nobody else. It was weird.

INVESTIGATOR: Anything else?

WITNESS: Not really. Nothing else happened before all of you started showing up.

INVESTIGATOR: Thank you for your time.

* * *

BOSS: So you’re telling me some redshirts, some clone troopers, and a Russion stargate team all went into a bar.

INVESTIGATOR: Yes?

BOSS: And they were the only ones to walk out?

INVESTIGATOR: That is correct, sir.

BOSS: Well that’s one for the records.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments and kudos are always welcome!
> 
> (you can find me on tumblr at theredshirtsarecoming)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] A Redshirt, a Clone Trooper, and a Russian Stargate Team Walk into a Bar](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29870667) by [GwenChan Pods (GwenChan)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GwenChan/pseuds/GwenChan%20Pods), [Jet_pods (Jetainia)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jetainia/pseuds/Jet_pods), [MistbornHero](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistbornHero/pseuds/MistbornHero)




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